


i like the way you're distracting me

by clockworkcheetah



Series: Of Fingertips and Ribcages [6]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Sex, Asexuality Spectrum, Bottom Todd Brotzman, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Insecurity, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Dirk Gently, ace characters having sex if thats not your jam, just a lil bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkcheetah/pseuds/clockworkcheetah
Summary: Todd has two modes when it comes to his thoughts.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Series: Of Fingertips and Ribcages [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887031
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	i like the way you're distracting me

**Author's Note:**

> there was gonna be a fic that came before this one but i ended up scrapping it (i'll still write it tho- just not for this) that does mean theres only gonna be one more fic for ofar then the series will be done (tho considering how i write brotzly has it actually ended lmao)  
> not sure if im happy with this but idk
> 
> title from nervous by k.flay

Todd has two modes when it came to thoughts. One was to forget said thought- because that's what cool people do and he likes to think he's cool, sometimes (except he isn't, and absolutely writes it down if he knows it's important). 

The second is that the thought consumes every waking moment of his life. The latter happens more often than Todd likes to admit. Sometimes, he just gets a thought and his brain decides he needs to think about it constantly. 

The thought currently was; _I kind of_ _wanna have sex with Dirk._

Since coming to terms with his sexuality and feeling ok and secure with himself, he hadn't really thought about sex. But recently, he's gotten horny. He doesn't really get horny- he could count that on one hand. Still, it's in his head, and he could probably just deal with it in the shower, except he doesn't want to. 

He wants Dirk- he's the source of Todd’s current situation. And he knows Dirk is never going to initiate, so it falls on Todd to- probably, very awkwardly- bring it up. 

(He did once ask Dirk why he likes sex- they fall somewhere together on the spectrum- though Dirk clearly feels differently about it as a whole. He just kisses Todd's cheek and says; 'I like the intimacy of it- I don't need it but, the closeness of it is very appealing to me.') 

That conversation stuck with Todd. He was surprised initially, but it felt very Dirk. Of course, he wants closeness- he drifts- or, rather, bulldozes into people's personal space. Even before they were dating, Dirk touched a lot- little pats on the shoulder at first, then it increased to more frequent hugging, to now- the dating, aka; doing everything _except_ the sex.   
Todd wants it, too. Maybe that's where it's coming from. He's never really had anyone to be intimate with- not in this way. 

Todd thinks about it so much, that he- as a precaution- gets checked up. He hasn't had any sex in like, a decade, but he did fuck half his college and then some, so it's possible he's been carrying something for all this time. 

Nope. He's completely clean. Also- as a precaution- he buys condoms and lube. Dirk might already have this stuff- he's the one who has been thinking about it- at least, more frequently than him. But Todd likes to have some absolute certainty in his life.

* * *

Now comes the asking. Todd's sure he could just ask ' _hey_ _wanna_ _fuck?_ ' and that'll be enough, but he doubts he could physically do that. It feels a little too reminiscent of his college days. And that's not a time he was proud of. 

Plus, it didn't sit right with Todd to just ask Dirk like that. 

He ends up just sitting on his thoughts. During dinner- takeout, because Todd was too restless to cook tonight- Dirk's pretty content wolfing down his meal, but Todd's idly poking his rice. 

"You've got an intense think-y face right now." Dirk comments. 

"Mmm." Todd murmurs. 

"What are you thinking about?" 

"Sex." 

Dirk splutters. Todd's own brain catches up with him. One day, his brain and mouth will be on the same wavelength. He knows his face is bright red. 

"Well," Dirk says, conversationally, as if he didn't just nearly choke. "Any particular reason?" 

Todd shifts in his seat. "I want- I mean like-" He huffs. "I'd like to have sex. With you." 

"Well, I-" Dirk's cheeks flush. "You mean... right now?" 

"Uh... maybe not like, now-now. But... soon? Maybe?" 

"Ok." Dirk seems twitchy. It makes Todd twitchy. 

"Everything... good?" 

"It's just," Dirk frowns. "I want it to be good. It's our first time. And I don't want it to be bad for you. Because then, it'll be bad for me." 

Todd reaches over and squeezes his hand. "It'll be good. I know I have a... weird relationship with sex, but I want to- with you. I want it to be good for you, too. Or it can be really awkward and we can just laugh about it later." 

Dirk smiles shyly. "And you won't bolt?" 

"No, I promise." 

* * *

They don't have sex right away- not wanting to force anything. But there's a buzz between them for the next couple days- an amorous air, that probably isn't as subtle as Todd would like to think. 

Eventually, they have a quiet evening, and Todd's feeling especially affectionate. He clambers into Dirk's lap, settling himself comfortably. Dirk's hands instantly find Todd's waist. He looks up at Todd through his eyelashes. 

"Hello." He says, coyly. 

"Hey." Todd leans downs to kiss him. 

Dirk's compliant- opening his mouth to let him in, pleased little sighs as he kisses back. He strokes up and down Todd's sides. Todd's own fingers dance along Dirk's jaw. He can feel Dirk smiling against his mouth. Feeling playful, he bites and tugs his bottom lip, causing Dirk's breath to hitch, fingers clenching around his hips. 

Todd trails down to Dirk's neck, switching between kissing and nipping the skin. He can hear Dirk try to stifle his moans, and his hips twitching underneath him. He shifts around in Dirk's lap- they're both getting hard. 

It's the same routine for them, initially. Although, normally, Todd would pull off before things went too far, but instead, he grinds down for friction. Dirk's grip tightens, as his breath stutters. 

"Todd?" His tone is careful. 

"Yeah- I wanna- _wanna_..." 

Dirk looks him over. Taking in his flush cheeks, unsteady breathing and feeling the growing hardness. He pulls him into a kiss, running his tongue along Todd's bottom lip, causing a small whine from Todd. He pulls back just enough so Todd can rest his forehead against his. 

"Bedroom, then?" 

"God, yes." 

* * *

Todd lets Dirk pull him into his own bedroom, biting back a smile at the bounce in Dirk's step. They stand at the foot of the bed, kind of horny and kind of not sure what to do now. 

"How should-" 

"What do-" 

They share a shy grin. Todd gestures to Dirk to speak. 

"How should we... do this?" Dirk fiddles with Todd's shirt collar. "How do _you_ want this?" 

"And you? This is for us both, Dirk." 

"Todd, I assure you I'm just happy getting to have sex with you." Dirk's mouth quirks. "Trust me, I'll make it _very_ clear if I'm unsatisfied." 

Todd could believe that. He also knows that Dirk wants him to 'call the shots' so to speak. Todd gets it, he likes clear reassurances too, although he hasn't really thought about his first time with Dirk much deeper than ' _I_ _wanna_ _have sex with him_ '. 

He thinks back to his college days. No eye-contact. Never sober. Always leave. Todd doesn't want that with Dirk. The opposite, actually. 

He presses their bodies together and winds his arms around Dirk's neck. 

"I wanna... see you. And, I want-" Todd blushes. "I want you in me." 

Dirk pushes him against the wall, kissing along his jaw, as he pops his buttons open. Their current position reminds Todd of the Sound of Nothing. He wonders if Dirk wants to finish what they started that night. Minus being under the influence- and without a crowd of horny teenagers- so they can really enjoy it. Todd's hands grasp at whatever- running down Dirk's back, stroking alongside his jawline, before he scraps his fingernails through his scalp. Dirk moans, as he pushes Todd's shirt off his shoulders. Now Todd's bare skin is exposed, he immediately kisses Todd's collarbones. Todd sighs, raking through Dirk's hair. He can feel Dirk's breath stutter against him. 

He reaches for Dirk's own shirt, fumbling the buttons open. It takes a moment, as Dirk's mouth is unbelievably distracting, he's currently giving Todd's neck attention, but he eventually pulls Dirk's shirt off. As always, he likes to wear an undershirt underneath. Todd's unfazed, it's a tight shirt. He kisses any exposed skin he can- neck, collarbones, shoulders. He grinds his hips against Dirk's. They're both hard and Todd's starting to lose his mind slightly. 

Dirk's hands ghost over Todd's belt. Todd can sense his hesitance. He rolls his hips again. 

"Go ahead." He murmurs. 

Dirk doesn't need to be told twice. He fumbles over the buckle, huffing at audacity at this belt buckle and how it won't cooperate, but he gets it undone and slides it out of the belt loops. He tosses the belt somewhere in the room. His eyes roam over the flush expanding down Todd's chest, before lingering over the strip of his boxers, and how obviously affected Todd is. Feeling very under-dressed, Todd's fingers tease the hem of Dirk's undershirt. Wordlessly, Dirk raises his arms, and the shirt is pulled off with ease. Dirk's own belt follows shortly after. They resume their messy kissing, with Dirk's hands trailing down to cup Todd's ass. 

"Someone's eager." Todd says, when Dirk tugs at his jeans. 

"When am I not?" Dirk replies. He tugs the waistband again. "May I?" 

Todd nods. It's an easy removal, Todd's jeans are a little loose on him, unlike Dirk's that take a little more effort. But, eventually, they manage to wrestle him out of them. Immediately, they press their bodies against each other again, hands and mouths everywhere. 

Now that they're both just in their underwear, they're acutely aware of each other, as the fabric is thin, and they both have damp spots. Todd sighs against Dirk's neck, as Dirk manoeuvres them around, until the backs of Todd's legs hit the bed. Dirk pushes him onto it and- after taking a moment to admire the image of Todd, flush and hard, on the bed- he follows suit. Todd opens his legs to let Dirk rest in between. He keeps himself propped up on his elbows. 

"Are you ok?" Dirk says. 

"Y-yeah." Todd's squirming. Most of Dirk's weight is at their lower half. Judging by the slight quirk at the corner of Dirk's mouth, he is fully aware of the fact. His smugness is softened by the fact his pupils are blown wide, and his breath is getting increasingly uneven. Todd grabs his face and pulls him into a kiss. It's messy and frantic. Dirk grinds his hips down against Todd's, making them moan into each other's mouths. 

"Ok, ok- _fuck_ \- get my boxers off." Todd whines, desperate for friction. "Yours, too." 

Dirk pushes himself off the bed and tugs at Todd's waistband. Todd raises his hips to make it easier. Dirk tosses them somewhere in the room. He tips his head fondly at Todd's body, running a hand gently down Todd's inner thigh. Todd looks away, feeling slightly self-conscious, despite the fact they've seen each other naked a numerous time before. Everything feels just a little raw. 

"You're just lovely." Dirk says softly. 

"So are you." Todd's fingers flex against the bedsheets. "Now take your pants off." 

Dirk laughs. "I will. Just- do you have... the stuff?" 

Todd fumbles blindly for his bedside drawer. "Yeah, in- in here." 

Dirk opens it himself. The lube and condoms are resting on top. He presents the foil packets. 

"Do we need these?" 

"I bought them, in case. I mean, I'm- I'm clean! But I just thought... y'know." 

"I'm clean, too. So, do you think we should use them?" 

"Maybe... maybe just for this time? I also don't wanna leave a uhh... wet spot..." Todd mumbles. 

He can see the way Dirk's eyes darken from what the 'this time' implies. 

"Well then," He says, walking back to the foot of the bed. "We'll use them." 

He shucks off his underwear unceremoniously and kneels between Todd's legs. He preens a little at Todd's hooded gaze. 

"Hand me one of the pillows, darling." 

Todd hands him a pillow. Dirk gestures for him to arch his back and he carefully tucks it under him. After tearing open a packet and rolling a condom on, he pops the lube bottle open. He wastes no time to get them both ready, but does spend some time to slick himself up, in full view of Todd. The mental image of Dirk stroking himself is going to be committed to his memory forever now, Todd supposes. 

"You are infuriatingly hot." He huffs. 

Dirk grins. "Why, thank you! If it's any consolation- you're infuriatingly hot, too." 

Satisfied, Dirk positions himself over Todd. He can feel Dirk teasing the edge, Todd- impatient and getting extremely needy- pushes against Dirk's cock. 

Dirk pushes all the way in- slowly, as to let Todd adjust- until he's nestled comfortably inside. He stills, to give them both let a moment to get use to the sensations. Todd grasps Dirk's biceps, slight stutter is his breath. They're really doing this. He laughs. 

Dirk looks startled, but after a little analysis of Todd's face- and not seeing distress- he smiles, confused. 

"What? Todd- what? Are you ok?" 

Todd bites his lip. "Sorry- sorry! It's just... it's a lot. Doing this. With you. It's... yeah. A lot." 

Dirk cocks his head. "A good 'a lot'?" 

"Yeah, it's just... we're doing this- and I never thought I would with someone- someone who mattered. And it's a lot. It's a lot to take in." 

"Oh, I bet it is." 

Todd swats his arm weakly. "Oh my God. I'm here, trying to spill my heart out- and you're making a dick joke." 

Dirk giggles into Todd's shoulder. "I'm sorry! I promise this is a big deal for me, too!" 

Todd huffs, but he's grinning, too. "Big, is it?" 

The whole situation- and the terrible jokes- have them both laughing loudly. Dirk burrows his head further into Todd's shoulder, whilst Todd tightens his grip on Dirk's biceps. He realises with great certainty that there really was nobody else he would rather be with. 

It takes a moment for them to both calm down- when one settles the other's laughter sets them off again. Eventually, the shaking has Todd become very aware of their current positions and he moans. He squeezes his thighs around Dirk's hips. Dirk sighs, softly. 

He raises his head from Todd's shoulder, his eyes are watery. "Are you, though? Ok, I mean?" 

Todd runs his hand though Dirk's hair. "Yeah- I'm good." 

"Did you mean it? The stuff you said earlier?" 

"Yeah, every word." 

Dirk kisses him. He thrusts gently, finding a slow rhythm for them. Todd sighs, squeezing his thighs around Dirk's hips. Taking this as a cue to continue, Dirk slightly speeds up the pace, kissing Todd's neck messily. Todd runs his hand through Dirk's hair, making sure to lightly scrape his fingernails against his scalp, feeling Dirk's excited shiver. 

Dirk's loud in bed. Todd isn't remotely surprised, and he's rather enjoying Dirk's moaning, as he buries his face into Todd's shoulder. He's getting close. Todd's getting close too, letting out breathy grunts, matching Dirk's thrusts. He feels heated all over, he just needs something. 

"Dirk- _ahh_ \- Dirk, hey." Todd squeezes the back of Dirk's head. 

Dirk moans and raises his head, dazed. "Mmm. What- what do you need, Todd?" 

"I need- fuck- need-" He ruts his hips up. His cock presses against Dirk's stomach. 

Dirk catches on. He reaches between them, but doesn't grip it straightaway. Instead, he runs his fingers along the underside of his cock. Todd's usually quiet in bed, but a loud moan is startled out of him. He's more sensitive than he thought. 

" _Fuck_ , Dirk." 

"That is what we're trying to achieve here," Dirk grins, although he sounds breathless. "Or, rather, I'm trying to fuck you." 

Todd tries to glare, but really doubts he's pulling it off right now. "Well, get back to it." 

"With pleasure." 

He grips him more firmly, with his hand that was already slicked up from earlier. He strokes him somewhat idly, looking at Todd's face for any signs of discomfort. Todd has no idea how he looks, but he imagines he's looking blissed out, because Dirk increases the movements of both his hand and thrusts. Todd whines feebly, his hands weakly grasp at any part of Dirk's body he can reach. 

They fall into a mess of incoherent sounds of pleasure. Todd's eyes are closed, but he can sense Dirk watching him closely, listening to every little sound he makes. Everything is starting to threaten to spill over. Dirk's own hands are trembling. 

"Dirk-Dirk! _Fuck! I'm_ -" Todd slurs, he squeezes his eyes from the tension. 

"C'mon, c'mon! I'm gonna- _ahh_ \- too." 

Todd comes first, spilling into Dirk's hand and their stomachs. Dirk follows shortly after, groaning heavily, resting his forehead against Todd's, as they come down from their high. They stay like that for a while, breathing each other in. Eventually, Dirk pulls out, causing both to wince slightly. Todd can feel him pull the pillow out from under him and gently lifts his head to tuck the pillow underneath. When Todd finally opens his eyes, his vision is blurry. He can vaguely make out Dirk's face as he examines Todd's face. 

"Are you alright?" Dirk touches his cheek gently. 

Todd mumbles something undecipherable. Dirk kisses his forehead, before he disposes the condom, tying and then throwing it. He then rummages through the bedside drawer, pulling out some tissues. He cleans up his hand, before he cleans the mess on their stomachs. He's very particular on cleaning Todd thoroughly. 

Todd stares at Dirk, taking in the sight. He's seen Dirk naked before, but something about Dirk, focused on his little task, naked and sweaty, but content and peaceful, stirs something in Todd's chest. He's beautiful. 

"Hey," Todd says softly. "Thanks." 

Dirk looks up, confused. "It's not a problem. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'd like to not be sticky." 

"No, I just mean," Todd gestures vaguely. "Thank you. For this, in general." 

Dirk tips his head. He might not fully understand, but he seems to get it well enough, the general implication of his words. He smiles warmly. "And thank you to you, too." 

He tosses the tissues in the wastebin, and half-flops onto Todd so he can pepper Todd's face in kisses. Todd lets him, he's bone-tired and happy to just bask in the affection. 

"How are you feeling?" Dirk says, kissing each eyelid. "Was it... was it good?" 

Todd cracks an eye open. "Yeah, Dirk, it was good. Tired as hell, though." 

"Sleep then." Dirk kisses his cheek. 

"You're not sleeping?" He asks drowsily. 

"I'm actually feeling really rather awake," Dirk shifts onto his back. "Feel free to use me as a pillow." 

Todd rolls his eyes, but he flops his head onto Dirk's chest, with Dirk's fingers running through his hair soothingly. He can feel Dirk's steadying heartbeat. The rhythm lulls him to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> i think the last fic will be uploaded before the end of the year (at least thats the plan) idk how long itll be tho but its mostly planned out  
> tumblr is clockworkcheetah


End file.
